Infinity Releasing and the Grieving Mom, Part 2 continued from September 25, 2009

by Ceitllyn Connal

I have come to realize how much I have yet to learn and how much I have already learned in the five months since my son’s death. I wanted perfection in my life, but in wanting that, I wanted the control that comes with that perfection. I chose to do anything else except move forward toward healing my grief. There is no amount of control or perfection possible that would give me any measure of peace. There was just too much fear for me to manage; so there needed to be more control. I expected things to go according to some unwritten plan, my plan that would still allow me to grow in my spiritual journey. I would think, “I am The All Powerful Human I know what my Divine plan is.” I do not feel like the all-powerful human; I am sitting feeling very unpowerful all of my victimness because my son died.

When I let myself move toward healing, I realize how much I wanted to control when my son died. I would be able to do so many things differently before that happened so I would not have to feel the rawness of my emotions now. It was not in my plan to be in the middle of feeling lonely, sad, angry or alone at this time in my life. Sometimes I still want the illusion of controlling my own steps. This grieving part of my journey is a frightening way of existing, I am unsure of where my emotions will lead me next. It is not an easy road; it has its hard and difficult parts. I feel if I am not able to move through these feelings, learn the lessons given to me, these same lessons will come back again and again stronger and harder than they are now. The knowledge is there for me to learn how to be on a higher spiritual level, all it requires of me is to open my heart to the Love of the Divine. Whenever I feel like I have to ‘make it through’ my grief I know my need to control things and my fears keep me from truly surrendering to the Divine.

The times I have used our Infinity Releasing tool with my grief, my raw emotions were eased and soothed. Sometimes things were swirling in my head too quickly to comprehend anything else except the very powerful movement of the Infinity sign. I knew then that my feelings were just what they were meant to be, a gateway to a greater connection and my anchor with the Divine.

I hope we can have the opportunity to teach you this remarkable tool that can open up so many new wonders. Using this tool can help you to access all the Divine Love that is possible for your life, as it has done for my own.

For more information about Infinity Releasing please see our
website at:http://hearthealing.net/workshops.php

Infinity Releasing and the Grieving Mom: Part One

by Ceitllyn Connal

We have an amazing tool that we teach in our sessions and in workshops called Infinity Releasing. It is a very powerful tool that anyone with any issue can use and have a good measure of relief. It is a wonderful technique to know especially when emotions are raw and you don’t know what else to do. It is very simple and easy to use. There are not many words to remember and it is very handy and portable! If you wish to know more, follow this link back to our web site: http://www.hearthealing.net/workshops.php. I am honored to share with you just how powerful Infinity Releasing and surrendering to the Divine really is.

My son died May 25, 2009 at about 8am or so Pacific time. That is very specific for me right now. It is amazing to look back over those moments when the phone rang, the world stopped moving, I was hearing words coming through a black talking device and I stopped understanding anything. I had always imagined what would happen whenever I got call like that, now I know. It just happened so automatically like something on television or in the stories; it was very surreal and ethereal. There was a floating feeling, disconnecting from all of reality, as I knew it. It was comforting and disorienting at the same time. It is still hard to remember much except the doctor’s phone call and her words and my scream. I think it is good for you to know that sometimes healers scream. I spoke to my healing partner Mary right after that phone call, I am not sure how coherent I was but somehow she understood me. I was not able to think much, most every part of me had crashed inside. The only thing I heard and was able to focus on was to imagine the Infinity sign in the middle of my heart and tracing it with each of my own heartbeats. I was able to breathe again. For the next few days making that sign that was all I can remember doing, that was all that kept me moving. We brought him home and cremated his body. There was paperwork and legal things to do and I wondered if I would be able to continue to move or be stuck in my grief forever. During the first month or so, my only focus was the Infinity Releasing technique.

Now it is four months later today. Some days are still ‘not okay’ days. Okay days are for people who have all their living children who are well and happy. Okay days are for happy people, not sad people like me. Sometimes my movements are jerky and unsure. Although my son is dead, he talks to me all the time. Most of the time I listen and sometimes I don’t. The times I choose not to, I just do not want to hear what he has to say. His words show me Gifts beyond anything I could imagine and I am not able to go there yet. I know I will, my heart and my trust in the Divine tell me I will.