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by Ceitllyn Connal
I love football season that is the best part of fall, unless it’s hockey season. That is the best part of fall. Somewhere in there is baseball. Baseball is my second most favorite sport. I have my teams except for football; I just have teams I don’t follow. Hockey playoffs occur in the late winter early spring. Either you love it like a wonderful book or they drag on like a poorly made movie. Of course, it all depends on if my team made it that far. EVERYONE knows when a game is on; take your chances when you call me. Sometimes I yell a lot, no one can hear me through the television but I feel better! I have sports schedules on my work calendar. The only stats I follow is how far ahead or behind my teams are, at least it gives me something to talk to my son about.
I am not sure where this sports passion comes from. As a kid, I don’t remember watching sports much. High school opened up a little more understanding about football, and watching all the cute guys playing football. I saw my first hockey game years ago with a small local team. I don’t know why, I was hooked. Now years later, there is the same thrill and excitement with every new season - new players, new hope and new outlooks. Those eye-opening exciting experiences made an impact in my life that I have carried with me throughout all the following years. It occurs to me that it does not matter whether the experience is pleasant or hurtful; all of our firsts set the stage for each ensuing step.
I had no plans for my life after high school. I did not think I would be good for anything else besides having babies and being a housewife. When I had some accomplishments, I immediately talked myself out of their joy knowing it would never last and it was just a fluke. I was resigned to whatever happened I had no control over the inevitable. When I was about 33 or so an acquaintance kept explaining how we pick the family we are born into and other ‘drivel’ like that. I was incensed by those words, why would I want to pick my family and all the problems I had throughout my life. That was just bizarre. She also talked about choosing, drumming, power animals, actually changing your life. How could all that be possible? Weren’t you stuck with what you had? Growing up catholic puts a dramatic slant on ones views on life. She kept talking and I started listening.
So many years later, I think back on her conversations and how they began changing my journey. The only thing that continued to have a hold on me was my own fear of change. The known was bad enough what if I got worse in exchange. I did not think I could live if my situation got worse and if there were times that things were good the other shoe was bound to drop. It takes a lot of energy to constantly be on guard and maintain the status quo.
Today, while I still fall back on my old survival fear, I am beginning understand all the layers of information my fear actually has for me. Embracing all that the fear has for me can be very uncomfortable. It is like hugging a hedgehog, soft one way, pretty spinney another. What does this part of me have to teach, what are the lessons I may have to repeat ignoring them instead of facing them? When I want to push it all away and it revolts me to have it close, I can change my view by imagining my fear as the small child part of me. Seeing fear on the face of a small child opens my heart to embrace her and show her all the Love I have been denying myself.
My process of healing has encompassed the whole spectrum of my life. My family of choice has taught me a great number of things, not in the least is gratitude. I am not sure what I have taught my children except that anything in life can be changed (they are not so sure about this healing stuff!). It can be just a matter of changing your perspective, stopping to look back at where you were and where you are now. I am at this particular point in my journey by accepting that I did have a path and I could put a foot on it and move. It didn’t matter what direction I moved – up or down, in or out, sideways or forward, as long as I moved. It just does not matter. I am changing my point of view from a concrete linear road to a view from a completely different paradigm.
You never know what will happen when a game starts, all the fire, the anticipation; the emotions can take you places you did not foresee. Changes happen when you take the field or put a skate on the ice or a foot on your road. From that moment, you can surrender to or fight the flow. Our hearts hold the road and instinctively ‘knows’ the way.
I still do not know what my plans are for my life, but where ever my road leads I am becoming more willing to be in my heart while my life unfolds before me. I have come a long way from fear ruling every breath I took to Love guiding every heart-beat. All it took was a step.
In gratitude,
Ceitllyn
Showing posts with label Creating own reality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Creating own reality. Show all posts
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Pain vs Pleasure – A Big A-Ha!
by Nancy Smeltzer
I’m a visual person, with two of my degrees being in art, so it’s not surprising that one of the first “psychic” skills that I taught myself was to be clairvoyant. As such, I often see my images behind my closed eyes as well as if my eyes were open. I’m also very much aware that these images, shown to me by the Divine, are often metaphors for what’s going on and not literal photographs of what I need to know. We three say that we’re enrolled in the School of the Divine, and are shown what we need to know when we need to know it. We are also very much aware of the vastness of knowledge that we have yet to access, and how really simple the Divine is trying to make our lessons. You wouldn’t explain nuclear physics the same way to a kindergartener as you would a graduate student, so we see what we’re being shown as metaphors or parables. In other words, what’s the important message being shown here, not the literal interpretation.
So, as I have often experienced chronic back pain, I’ve looked at many ways to view what does pain actually “look” like metaphysically? What I’m usually shown is a sine wave, since those are the type of waves I know best. (I also taught 7th grade science for 27 years before retiring.) The ones for pain have their up and down undulations pock-marked with jagged edges, as if they were playing a harsh melody. However, when I superimpose the wave that I see for pleasure, there’s little difference in the height, (amplitude) or width (wave length) and some of the special signatures in the two types. So for me, the old adage that there is often little difference between pain and pleasure is visually real for me.
Since I believe adamantly that we’re creating our own realities, I’ve had to come to grips with the fact that I’m holding on to the back pain. Why, would I choose pain over Pleasure, or Divine Ecstasy, which to my logical mind is really dumb? The answer that I keep getting is that to come fully into my own power and access my Divinity is way too scary. My take seems to be that it's much better to stay in pain, as that’s a familiar script. If I were one of our clients, I’d say that choosing pain is not a “shame or blame thing, it’s just an “is”, so let’s heal it!” If I were one of my clients, that would be easy to do. However, when an affliction or belief is one of your own core issues, it’s often hard to release.(Which actually is a belief, so I’ll add “healing yourself is hard to do” to my extensive list of things to work on.) I know that I’ve experienced the thrill of Divine Ecstasy, which is way more intense than any Tantric practice that I’ve been shown, and know that when I’ve fully cleared my issues, I can experience that state of being 24/7. I’ve worked on my chronic pain for quite a while with the help of Mary and Ceitllyn, and have gotten its intensity, duration, and degree of incidence down to about 20% of what it used to be. However, in the middle of the night, when you’re awakened by pain, it’s often hard to concentrate on ones achievements! However, with each passing day, we move closer and closer to an answer. I know that I will be able to do so completely at some point, so stay tuned to this blog page and our web site (see below for updates).
Love to your hearts,
Nancy
http://www.renaissanceheart.com
http://www.hearthealing.net
I’m a visual person, with two of my degrees being in art, so it’s not surprising that one of the first “psychic” skills that I taught myself was to be clairvoyant. As such, I often see my images behind my closed eyes as well as if my eyes were open. I’m also very much aware that these images, shown to me by the Divine, are often metaphors for what’s going on and not literal photographs of what I need to know. We three say that we’re enrolled in the School of the Divine, and are shown what we need to know when we need to know it. We are also very much aware of the vastness of knowledge that we have yet to access, and how really simple the Divine is trying to make our lessons. You wouldn’t explain nuclear physics the same way to a kindergartener as you would a graduate student, so we see what we’re being shown as metaphors or parables. In other words, what’s the important message being shown here, not the literal interpretation.
So, as I have often experienced chronic back pain, I’ve looked at many ways to view what does pain actually “look” like metaphysically? What I’m usually shown is a sine wave, since those are the type of waves I know best. (I also taught 7th grade science for 27 years before retiring.) The ones for pain have their up and down undulations pock-marked with jagged edges, as if they were playing a harsh melody. However, when I superimpose the wave that I see for pleasure, there’s little difference in the height, (amplitude) or width (wave length) and some of the special signatures in the two types. So for me, the old adage that there is often little difference between pain and pleasure is visually real for me.
Since I believe adamantly that we’re creating our own realities, I’ve had to come to grips with the fact that I’m holding on to the back pain. Why, would I choose pain over Pleasure, or Divine Ecstasy, which to my logical mind is really dumb? The answer that I keep getting is that to come fully into my own power and access my Divinity is way too scary. My take seems to be that it's much better to stay in pain, as that’s a familiar script. If I were one of our clients, I’d say that choosing pain is not a “shame or blame thing, it’s just an “is”, so let’s heal it!” If I were one of my clients, that would be easy to do. However, when an affliction or belief is one of your own core issues, it’s often hard to release.(Which actually is a belief, so I’ll add “healing yourself is hard to do” to my extensive list of things to work on.) I know that I’ve experienced the thrill of Divine Ecstasy, which is way more intense than any Tantric practice that I’ve been shown, and know that when I’ve fully cleared my issues, I can experience that state of being 24/7. I’ve worked on my chronic pain for quite a while with the help of Mary and Ceitllyn, and have gotten its intensity, duration, and degree of incidence down to about 20% of what it used to be. However, in the middle of the night, when you’re awakened by pain, it’s often hard to concentrate on ones achievements! However, with each passing day, we move closer and closer to an answer. I know that I will be able to do so completely at some point, so stay tuned to this blog page and our web site (see below for updates).
Love to your hearts,
Nancy
http://www.renaissanceheart.com
http://www.hearthealing.net
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Creating My Own Reality
There has been a lot written in many current books, media, and web sites about the concept that we are creating our own realities. It took a while for me to wrap my rational brain around that concept, as one of the main facets of my reality is chronic pain. I’d ask myself…”You mean that I’m creating the incredible physical pain that I’m in? You don’t understand! I’d do anything to get rid of this pain!” …I’d cry out. Then I’d exclaim, “You’re just blaming the victim!” and write off the “heartless” person telling me that message.
Yet I found through personal experiences time and time again that I was indeed creating my pains. If you refer back to my posting on the Triune Brain theory on August 21, 2009, you’ll find more information on the various consciousnesses in our bodies. It’s often the Body Brain or the unconscious part of us that is running the show. During research work with my partners, Mary and Ceitllyn, I’d find a core issue of mine and start working on it. All of a sudden, I would be in excruciating pain, making it very hard to concentrate on the work at hand. As we worked through the issue and healed it, or at least the part that I was able to access that day, the pain level would instantly drop.
While the pain was very real in my body, I began to realize that one or more of my consciousnesses, usually the body brain, was so terrified of what might surface, that pain was better than facing the issue at hand. Certainly not a logical response, but then this work is not about the conscious or Mind Brain part of us. The good news is that by staying with the issue and healing it, the pain does abate.
There are two good books that I’ve read recently with regard to creating chronic pain in our bodies and how to relieve it. The first, Healing Back Pain, The Mind-Body Connection, by John Sarno, is a classic on the subject of back and body pain. Sarno’s major premise if that much of our pain is due to repressed emotions, especially anger. Allow the emotion to surface, and the pain subsides. The second book is Somatics: Reawakening The Mind's Control Of Movement, Flexibility, And Health by Thomas Hanna. It's major concept is that the area which is sore has muscles that have forgotten how to relax. The constant tension in those areas pulls bones and joints out of alignment. The book has simple exercises which are a little hard to follow as the pictures aren't great, but VERY effective at releasing pain in just a few days of doing the exercises every day.
So, my take for creating a reality that is pain-free for me currently involves exercises to realign and strengthen the body, and deep inner work to heal the underlying issues that are holding much of the pain in place. I invite you to return often to this blog to see what other new discoveries we make as the Divine continues to unfold and impart knowledge to us.
Love to your hearts,
Nancy
http://www.renaissanceheart.com
http://www.hearthealing.net
Yet I found through personal experiences time and time again that I was indeed creating my pains. If you refer back to my posting on the Triune Brain theory on August 21, 2009, you’ll find more information on the various consciousnesses in our bodies. It’s often the Body Brain or the unconscious part of us that is running the show. During research work with my partners, Mary and Ceitllyn, I’d find a core issue of mine and start working on it. All of a sudden, I would be in excruciating pain, making it very hard to concentrate on the work at hand. As we worked through the issue and healed it, or at least the part that I was able to access that day, the pain level would instantly drop.
While the pain was very real in my body, I began to realize that one or more of my consciousnesses, usually the body brain, was so terrified of what might surface, that pain was better than facing the issue at hand. Certainly not a logical response, but then this work is not about the conscious or Mind Brain part of us. The good news is that by staying with the issue and healing it, the pain does abate.
There are two good books that I’ve read recently with regard to creating chronic pain in our bodies and how to relieve it. The first, Healing Back Pain, The Mind-Body Connection, by John Sarno, is a classic on the subject of back and body pain. Sarno’s major premise if that much of our pain is due to repressed emotions, especially anger. Allow the emotion to surface, and the pain subsides. The second book is Somatics: Reawakening The Mind's Control Of Movement, Flexibility, And Health by Thomas Hanna. It's major concept is that the area which is sore has muscles that have forgotten how to relax. The constant tension in those areas pulls bones and joints out of alignment. The book has simple exercises which are a little hard to follow as the pictures aren't great, but VERY effective at releasing pain in just a few days of doing the exercises every day.
So, my take for creating a reality that is pain-free for me currently involves exercises to realign and strengthen the body, and deep inner work to heal the underlying issues that are holding much of the pain in place. I invite you to return often to this blog to see what other new discoveries we make as the Divine continues to unfold and impart knowledge to us.
Love to your hearts,
Nancy
http://www.renaissanceheart.com
http://www.hearthealing.net
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