Friday, September 25, 2009

Infinity Releasing and the Grieving Mom: Part One

by Ceitllyn Connal

We have an amazing tool that we teach in our sessions and in workshops called Infinity Releasing. It is a very powerful tool that anyone with any issue can use and have a good measure of relief. It is a wonderful technique to know especially when emotions are raw and you don’t know what else to do. It is very simple and easy to use. There are not many words to remember and it is very handy and portable! If you wish to know more, follow this link back to our web site: I am honored to share with you just how powerful Infinity Releasing and surrendering to the Divine really is.

My son died May 25, 2009 at about 8am or so Pacific time. That is very specific for me right now. It is amazing to look back over those moments when the phone rang, the world stopped moving, I was hearing words coming through a black talking device and I stopped understanding anything. I had always imagined what would happen whenever I got call like that, now I know. It just happened so automatically like something on television or in the stories; it was very surreal and ethereal. There was a floating feeling, disconnecting from all of reality, as I knew it. It was comforting and disorienting at the same time. It is still hard to remember much except the doctor’s phone call and her words and my scream. I think it is good for you to know that sometimes healers scream. I spoke to my healing partner Mary right after that phone call, I am not sure how coherent I was but somehow she understood me. I was not able to think much, most every part of me had crashed inside. The only thing I heard and was able to focus on was to imagine the Infinity sign in the middle of my heart and tracing it with each of my own heartbeats. I was able to breathe again. For the next few days making that sign that was all I can remember doing, that was all that kept me moving. We brought him home and cremated his body. There was paperwork and legal things to do and I wondered if I would be able to continue to move or be stuck in my grief forever. During the first month or so, my only focus was the Infinity Releasing technique.

Now it is four months later today. Some days are still ‘not okay’ days. Okay days are for people who have all their living children who are well and happy. Okay days are for happy people, not sad people like me. Sometimes my movements are jerky and unsure. Although my son is dead, he talks to me all the time. Most of the time I listen and sometimes I don’t. The times I choose not to, I just do not want to hear what he has to say. His words show me Gifts beyond anything I could imagine and I am not able to go there yet. I know I will, my heart and my trust in the Divine tell me I will.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

To Be or Not To Be (in Your Heart)-Part 1

By Mary Pellicer, MD

Since I stole the title from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, I will begin by noting that Hamlet, while delivering this soliloquy, is most definitely not in his heart and says as much:
“To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,…”

But what does that mean—To be in my heart? Let’s explore that question a bit because the “heart” we’re talking about here is not the physical heart but the heart consciousness. A useful model of consciousness (we first learned this model working with the Institute for the Study of Peak States) divides an individual’s consciousness into three main parts. We call these three parts, the Mind consciousness, the Heart consciousness and the Body consciousness. Each part of consciousness has its own awareness that is distinct from the others and with proper training, one can learn to differentiate between them. Each of these parts of consciousness also has a distinct role (or job) within a person’s being and a distinct way in which it communicates. The role of our MIND is to understand (it communicates with thoughts), the role of our HEART is to connect (it communicates with emotions), the role of our BODY is to survive (it communicates with body sensations). See also Nancy’s posting on August 21, 2009 for more information on Triune Brain Theory)

Just as an orchestra has a conductor, whose job it is to lead the orchestra so the result is beautiful music, so too, each of us needs a conductor to lead and orchestrate our lives. I firmly believe that this is the role of the heart—see my post on 9-7-2009 as to why I believe this. So “being in my heart” means that my essence and awareness is centered in my heart consciousness and that my life is being led and orchestrated from a place of connection and love. Optimally, the other parts of my consciousness are in total congruence with my heart consciousness and happily following the lead of the heart—each fulfilling their own role without fuss or angst.

So, how can I tell if I’m in my heart? Or how can you tell if you’re in your heart? That will be the subject covered in Part 2 of this post on 10-8-2009.

From my heart to yours,

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Fear and the average housewife

by Ceitllyn Connal

I love football season that is the best part of fall, unless it’s hockey season. That is the best part of fall. Somewhere in there is baseball. Baseball is my second most favorite sport. I have my teams except for football; I just have teams I don’t follow. Hockey playoffs occur in the late winter early spring. Either you love it like a wonderful book or they drag on like a poorly made movie. Of course, it all depends on if my team made it that far. EVERYONE knows when a game is on; take your chances when you call me. Sometimes I yell a lot, no one can hear me through the television but I feel better! I have sports schedules on my work calendar. The only stats I follow is how far ahead or behind my teams are, at least it gives me something to talk to my son about.

I am not sure where this sports passion comes from. As a kid, I don’t remember watching sports much. High school opened up a little more understanding about football, and watching all the cute guys playing football. I saw my first hockey game years ago with a small local team. I don’t know why, I was hooked. Now years later, there is the same thrill and excitement with every new season - new players, new hope and new outlooks. Those eye-opening exciting experiences made an impact in my life that I have carried with me throughout all the following years. It occurs to me that it does not matter whether the experience is pleasant or hurtful; all of our firsts set the stage for each ensuing step.

I had no plans for my life after high school. I did not think I would be good for anything else besides having babies and being a housewife. When I had some accomplishments, I immediately talked myself out of their joy knowing it would never last and it was just a fluke. I was resigned to whatever happened I had no control over the inevitable. When I was about 33 or so an acquaintance kept explaining how we pick the family we are born into and other ‘drivel’ like that. I was incensed by those words, why would I want to pick my family and all the problems I had throughout my life. That was just bizarre. She also talked about choosing, drumming, power animals, actually changing your life. How could all that be possible? Weren’t you stuck with what you had? Growing up catholic puts a dramatic slant on ones views on life. She kept talking and I started listening.

So many years later, I think back on her conversations and how they began changing my journey. The only thing that continued to have a hold on me was my own fear of change. The known was bad enough what if I got worse in exchange. I did not think I could live if my situation got worse and if there were times that things were good the other shoe was bound to drop. It takes a lot of energy to constantly be on guard and maintain the status quo.

Today, while I still fall back on my old survival fear, I am beginning understand all the layers of information my fear actually has for me. Embracing all that the fear has for me can be very uncomfortable. It is like hugging a hedgehog, soft one way, pretty spinney another. What does this part of me have to teach, what are the lessons I may have to repeat ignoring them instead of facing them? When I want to push it all away and it revolts me to have it close, I can change my view by imagining my fear as the small child part of me. Seeing fear on the face of a small child opens my heart to embrace her and show her all the Love I have been denying myself.

My process of healing has encompassed the whole spectrum of my life. My family of choice has taught me a great number of things, not in the least is gratitude. I am not sure what I have taught my children except that anything in life can be changed (they are not so sure about this healing stuff!). It can be just a matter of changing your perspective, stopping to look back at where you were and where you are now. I am at this particular point in my journey by accepting that I did have a path and I could put a foot on it and move. It didn’t matter what direction I moved – up or down, in or out, sideways or forward, as long as I moved. It just does not matter. I am changing my point of view from a concrete linear road to a view from a completely different paradigm.

You never know what will happen when a game starts, all the fire, the anticipation; the emotions can take you places you did not foresee. Changes happen when you take the field or put a skate on the ice or a foot on your road. From that moment, you can surrender to or fight the flow. Our hearts hold the road and instinctively ‘knows’ the way.

I still do not know what my plans are for my life, but where ever my road leads I am becoming more willing to be in my heart while my life unfolds before me. I have come a long way from fear ruling every breath I took to Love guiding every heart-beat. All it took was a step.

In gratitude,

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Pain vs Pleasure – A Big A-Ha!

by Nancy Smeltzer

I’m a visual person, with two of my degrees being in art, so it’s not surprising that one of the first “psychic” skills that I taught myself was to be clairvoyant. As such, I often see my images behind my closed eyes as well as if my eyes were open. I’m also very much aware that these images, shown to me by the Divine, are often metaphors for what’s going on and not literal photographs of what I need to know. We three say that we’re enrolled in the School of the Divine, and are shown what we need to know when we need to know it. We are also very much aware of the vastness of knowledge that we have yet to access, and how really simple the Divine is trying to make our lessons. You wouldn’t explain nuclear physics the same way to a kindergartener as you would a graduate student, so we see what we’re being shown as metaphors or parables. In other words, what’s the important message being shown here, not the literal interpretation.

So, as I have often experienced chronic back pain, I’ve looked at many ways to view what does pain actually “look” like metaphysically? What I’m usually shown is a sine wave, since those are the type of waves I know best. (I also taught 7th grade science for 27 years before retiring.) The ones for pain have their up and down undulations pock-marked with jagged edges, as if they were playing a harsh melody. However, when I superimpose the wave that I see for pleasure, there’s little difference in the height, (amplitude) or width (wave length) and some of the special signatures in the two types. So for me, the old adage that there is often little difference between pain and pleasure is visually real for me.

Since I believe adamantly that we’re creating our own realities, I’ve had to come to grips with the fact that I’m holding on to the back pain. Why, would I choose pain over Pleasure, or Divine Ecstasy, which to my logical mind is really dumb? The answer that I keep getting is that to come fully into my own power and access my Divinity is way too scary. My take seems to be that it's much better to stay in pain, as that’s a familiar script. If I were one of our clients, I’d say that choosing pain is not a “shame or blame thing, it’s just an “is”, so let’s heal it!” If I were one of my clients, that would be easy to do. However, when an affliction or belief is one of your own core issues, it’s often hard to release.(Which actually is a belief, so I’ll add “healing yourself is hard to do” to my extensive list of things to work on.) I know that I’ve experienced the thrill of Divine Ecstasy, which is way more intense than any Tantric practice that I’ve been shown, and know that when I’ve fully cleared my issues, I can experience that state of being 24/7. I’ve worked on my chronic pain for quite a while with the help of Mary and Ceitllyn, and have gotten its intensity, duration, and degree of incidence down to about 20% of what it used to be. However, in the middle of the night, when you’re awakened by pain, it’s often hard to concentrate on ones achievements! However, with each passing day, we move closer and closer to an answer. I know that I will be able to do so completely at some point, so stay tuned to this blog page and our web site (see below for updates).

Love to your hearts,

Monday, September 7, 2009

Why Renaissance of the Heart?

By Mary Pellicer, MD

When Nancy and I began our healing practice (Ceitllyn joined us a bit later), we faced the decision of a name—what to call ourselves and our healing practice. One of the main reasons we were out on our own was that we had been called very strongly to focus on the heart as the center for our healing. Though this seems totally obvious to me now, at the time it wasn’t and much of the healing work we had been doing was much more mind centered though we did not realize it. I thought and thought about the perfect name and wrote down lists and searched out words in the dictionary and thesaurus (notice how mind-centric this approach was). Nothing seemed quite right.

Then I had a dream—one of those incredibly vivid dreams that I have had only very, very rarely. In this dream I was shown the world and each sphere of society—education, business, government, religion, family, etc. I realized that each sphere of society was full of human beings who, like me, were largely governed by their minds—that thinking, rational, logical part of our consciousness that we humans prize so highly. Thus, each sphere of our society is also in essence mind centered. What if, I was asked in my dream, what if each of these spheres of society was heart centered? What would that look like? ….And there before me the world changed.

The first thing to go was war. War is not possible if the majority of people govern their lives from a heart centered place, from a place that accepts others and forgives. Then the schools changed and the companies and corporations and the government and even the churches. If the majority of us were running our lives governed by our hearts, all of our endeavors would change. Kindness and patience and care and respect would be the order of the day and much of what plagues our institutions would vanish. Wow! And then I was given our name. What this world needs, I was told, is a renaissance of the heart—A rebirth of our heart centers as the governing force of our lives. So, we became Renaissance of the Heart, a group dedicated to doing our small part in guiding people back to their hearts, back to their centers.

This is not to say that the other parts of our consciousness, our minds and our bodies, are not important and do not have very important roles in our lives. However, within us we need a conductor of the orchestra, a leader for all the various parts of our consciousness that pull us this way and that. That is the role of our heart center, the part of us whose job it is to connect with other people and to connect with the Divine.

An interesting exercise to try: look at various situations that you find yourself in and see if you can tell if your actions are being governed by your mind your heart or your body. Notice the consequences; see if you can imagine how things would be different if you were governed in that situation from a different part of your consciousness. Next time I'll explore more about how to tell if you're in your heart. Have fun playing.

From my heart to yours,

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Creating My Own Reality

There has been a lot written in many current books, media, and web sites about the concept that we are creating our own realities. It took a while for me to wrap my rational brain around that concept, as one of the main facets of my reality is chronic pain. I’d ask myself…”You mean that I’m creating the incredible physical pain that I’m in? You don’t understand! I’d do anything to get rid of this pain!” …I’d cry out. Then I’d exclaim, “You’re just blaming the victim!” and write off the “heartless” person telling me that message.
Yet I found through personal experiences time and time again that I was indeed creating my pains. If you refer back to my posting on the Triune Brain theory on August 21, 2009, you’ll find more information on the various consciousnesses in our bodies. It’s often the Body Brain or the unconscious part of us that is running the show. During research work with my partners, Mary and Ceitllyn, I’d find a core issue of mine and start working on it. All of a sudden, I would be in excruciating pain, making it very hard to concentrate on the work at hand. As we worked through the issue and healed it, or at least the part that I was able to access that day, the pain level would instantly drop.
While the pain was very real in my body, I began to realize that one or more of my consciousnesses, usually the body brain, was so terrified of what might surface, that pain was better than facing the issue at hand. Certainly not a logical response, but then this work is not about the conscious or Mind Brain part of us. The good news is that by staying with the issue and healing it, the pain does abate.
There are two good books that I’ve read recently with regard to creating chronic pain in our bodies and how to relieve it. The first, Healing Back Pain, The Mind-Body Connection, by John Sarno, is a classic on the subject of back and body pain. Sarno’s major premise if that much of our pain is due to repressed emotions, especially anger. Allow the emotion to surface, and the pain subsides. The second book is Somatics: Reawakening The Mind's Control Of Movement, Flexibility, And Health by Thomas Hanna. It's major concept is that the area which is sore has muscles that have forgotten how to relax. The constant tension in those areas pulls bones and joints out of alignment. The book has simple exercises which are a little hard to follow as the pictures aren't great, but VERY effective at releasing pain in just a few days of doing the exercises every day.
So, my take for creating a reality that is pain-free for me currently involves exercises to realign and strengthen the body, and deep inner work to heal the underlying issues that are holding much of the pain in place. I invite you to return often to this blog to see what other new discoveries we make as the Divine continues to unfold and impart knowledge to us.

Love to your hearts,