To Be or Not To Be (in Your Heart)-Part 2

By Mary Pellicer, MD

The question we were left with from Part 1 of this post (9-17-2009), is how can I tell if I’m in my heart and by extension how might you tell if you’re in your heart? So let’s consider that. The first thing I notice is where my center of awareness is located. The center of awareness is the sense of where “you” are located within your body. One way to get a sense for this is to point your finger back at yourself (without touching your skin) and starting at the top of your head just run your finger down in front of your body and get a sense for where it feels like you are located. Your center of awareness will feel like you are pointing to “you”. Just for fun, you could try this with a friend and compare notes.

For myself for many, many years the only place I seemed to be located was right behind my eyes. Other places felt like they were part of my body, but it didn’t seem as if I was looking out of any other place than my eyes—which seemed perfectly natural and obvious to me. In fact, until I began doing this work, I didn’t think there was any other possibility. As it turns out, I was almost totally “in my head” with my awareness firmly seated there. Right now, doing this same exercise I feel like my awareness extends from the top of my head to my chest, pretty good for me. However, when I am stressed and not doing well, my awareness typically reverts to my original location of right behind my eyes. When people do this exercise there are many possibilities of where their awareness might be with the head , the heart region and the belly being the most common. However, occasionally people feel as if their center of awareness is located in an extremity and sometimes a person may not be in their body at all. Sometimes the center of awareness is very small and very hard to find, while other times it is spread throughout the whole body and even out into the surrounding environment.

So generally, when people are in their heart, their awareness is centered in their chest and if their awareness is quite expanded, it spreads out from there. The other hallmarks of being in one’s heart are a sense of peace and rightness, of calm and “being home”. Even if I am feeling very strong emotions, like sadness or anger, experiencing them from my heart has an underlying sense of acceptance and caring for myself while still having that emotion.

Also staying in your heart while having a strong emotion tends to allow it to dissipate and heal much more quickly than if you stay in your head for instance. Being in your head often will lead to judging yourself and the emotion (this is terrible, this will never go away, I deserve to feel this way, etc.) instead of just accepting and experiencing it. Emotions experienced from your heart center tend not to get stuck, they are acknowledged, experienced and then you move on.

While being in your heart may seem easy at first glance, in reality it is often very difficult for people because of their burden of unconsciously held trauma and stress. However, being aware of the concept and playing around with it and even asking the question “Am I in my heart?”, and checking for the signs that you are, can go a long way to making being in your heart an everyday reality.

From my heart to yours,
Mary

To Be or Not To Be (in Your Heart)-Part 1

By Mary Pellicer, MD

Since I stole the title from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, I will begin by noting that Hamlet, while delivering this soliloquy, is most definitely not in his heart and says as much:
“To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,…”

But what does that mean—To be in my heart? Let’s explore that question a bit because the “heart” we’re talking about here is not the physical heart but the heart consciousness. A useful model of consciousness (we first learned this model working with the Institute for the Study of Peak States) divides an individual’s consciousness into three main parts. We call these three parts, the Mind consciousness, the Heart consciousness and the Body consciousness. Each part of consciousness has its own awareness that is distinct from the others and with proper training, one can learn to differentiate between them. Each of these parts of consciousness also has a distinct role (or job) within a person’s being and a distinct way in which it communicates. The role of our MIND is to understand (it communicates with thoughts), the role of our HEART is to connect (it communicates with emotions), the role of our BODY is to survive (it communicates with body sensations). See also Nancy’s posting on August 21, 2009 for more information on Triune Brain Theory)

Just as an orchestra has a conductor, whose job it is to lead the orchestra so the result is beautiful music, so too, each of us needs a conductor to lead and orchestrate our lives. I firmly believe that this is the role of the heart—see my post on 9-7-2009 as to why I believe this. So “being in my heart” means that my essence and awareness is centered in my heart consciousness and that my life is being led and orchestrated from a place of connection and love. Optimally, the other parts of my consciousness are in total congruence with my heart consciousness and happily following the lead of the heart—each fulfilling their own role without fuss or angst.

So, how can I tell if I’m in my heart? Or how can you tell if you’re in your heart? That will be the subject covered in Part 2 of this post on 10-8-2009.

From my heart to yours,
Mary